What is the right partner anyway? Is it someone rich, young and handsome? Someone smart, kind and understanding? I used to date many men and to be totally honest, none of them really loved me. And it wasn’t their fault. They liked the version of me that I was showing. I didn’t believe they would like who I really was and I did everything I could to be the type of girlfriend that they wanted. And after a few months, when I got tired of pretending and my real me came out, the relationship fell apart. So to be totally honest, it was me, not them.
Why did I pretend to be different? Because I thought I was not loveable. I didn’t believe a man would like the way I looked, thought or what I was really interested in. I spent a lot of time and money trying to look the way I thought I had to look in order to attract men. And herein lies the problem:
– I wasn’t clear about the type of men I wanted to attract,
– I lacked self-love, and
– I didn’t listen to my intuition.
I will talk about each of these points next time as I would like to finish today with a little exercise:
Take a pen and a piece of paper. Sit down somewhere quiet and write down:
1. What internal qualities in a man are important to you (e.g. respect, fidelity, reliability, honesty).work ethic, family-oriented, powerful, rich, alpha-man, a man interested in a sustainable lifestyle, meditation, etc.)
2. What do you look for in a relationship (stability, family, living together or being in a relationship where you see each other only when you want?)
3. External qualities (rich or spiritual? banker or a yoga teacher? How should he dress, should he own a car or a bicycle?)
– Write everything down, every little detail that comes to your mind. Even better, imagine him in a movie- how does he look, talk, smell and walk? Does he smoke, eat meat? How does he treat his mom, his friends, colleagues or the guy in a bakery?
It may seem a lot but let your imagination go wild. The aim of this exercise is to realize what things you can accept and what you won’t compromise.
Remember, clarity is the key – especially if you want to meet the right partner. The more clear you are, the more likely you’ll attract him to your life.